Review: Only Mostly Devastated

It’s honestly a crime that I don’t often see this book on queer Bookstagram/BookTok. I rarely read books that make me this happy for this long. Well-written and bursting at the seems with unapologetic queer joy, Sophie Gonzales’s Only Mostly Devasted is just that—devastatingly amazing.

Will Tavares is the dream summer fling ― he's fun, affectionate, kind ― but just when Ollie thinks he's found his Happily Ever After, summer vacation ends and Will stops texting Ollie back. Now Ollie is one prince short of his fairy tale ending, and to complicate the fairy tale further, a family emergency sees Ollie uprooted and enrolled at a new school across the country. Which he minds a little less when he realizes it's the same school Will goes to... except Ollie finds that the sweet, comfortably queer guy he knew from summer isn't the same one attending Collinswood High. This Will is a class clown, closeted ― and, to be honest, a bit of a jerk. Ollie has no intention of pining after a guy who clearly isn't ready for a relationship, especially since this new, bro-y jock version of Will seems to go from hot to cold every other week. But then Will starts "coincidentally" popping up in every area of Ollie's life, from music class to the lunch table, and Ollie finds his resolve weakening. The last time he gave Will his heart, Will handed it back to him trampled and battered. Ollie would have to be an idiot to trust him with it again. Right? Right.

There’s something about queer retellings that really gets to me. There are so many tropes I love to see, especially in YA fiction, that are often exclusive to straight/cis stories. So to see Ollie, a quiet alternative teen, and Will, a rambunctious jock with a secret soft side, have their own dramatic love story was just the most uplifting thing. I especially liked the book’s setting: North Carolina. Queer people have always lived in rural, suburban, and conservative-leaning areas. We didn’t just magically appear with the advent of major cities, and we don’t only exist in spaces where narratives like to put us (read: LA or New York). Will and Lara are such great examples of this, and Will’s line later in the book—“You got to come out in fucking California!”—hit me so hard I almost began to cry. Southern queers are often bulldozed and/or misunderstood by people from the coasts, and as a queer person from the Midwest, I saw a lot of myself in Will and Lara. 

Actually, the entire cast was wonderfully written. You can see Gonzales’s psychology background at work. She writes each person so realistically—everyone is messy and no one’s in the right or the wrong. Each kid is just trying to get through high school while trying to figure themselves out. It creates a lot of various conflicts and tension, as expected in high school, a lot of which come to a head with some pretty big fight scenes, some of the best I’ve read. As a reader, you’re able to easily understand where each character is coming from and you’re not necessarily rooting for one person. You see where Ollie went wrong, where Will went wrong, where the side characters, like Lana or Matt, stepped out of line. All of this is carried by a strong, distinctive, and witty narrative voice, one that had me laughing and scoffing and crying the entire time. 

This book was written for queer youth, you can feel it in every aspect of the narration, plot, and themes. From tackling Lara’s bisexuality to Will’s journey with coming out to Ollie dealing with setting boundaries, it’s a love letter to queerness and queer love stories, and has definitely become my new favorite YA book.

Sophie Gonzales writes young adult queer contemporary fiction with memorable characters, biting wit and endless heart. She is the author of THE LAW OF INERTIA and ONLY MOSTLY DEVASTATED. PERFECT ON PAPER and IF THIS GETS OUT (co-written with Cale Dietrich) are forthcoming in Winter and Fall 2021 from Wednesday Books / Macmillan. When she isn’t writing, Sophie can be found ice skating, performing in musical theatre, and practicing the piano. She currently lives in Melbourne, Australia where she works as a psychologist. She is represented by Molly Ker Hawn of The Bent Agency.  

You can find more about Gonzales at her website, https://www.sophiegonzalesbooks.com. Her newest book, If This Gets Out, is available for purchase now.