If This Gets Out is a conversational book about knowing who you are and loving yourself for it. Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich tackle the mess that is the music industry with a grace that’ll leave you feeling raw.
Eighteen-year-olds Ruben Montez and Zach Knight are two members of the boy-band Saturday, one of the biggest acts in America. Along with their bandmates, Angel Phan and Jon Braxton, the four are teen heartbreakers in front of the cameras and best friends backstage. But privately, cracks are starting to form: their once-easy rapport is straining under the pressures of fame, and Ruben confides in Zach that he’s feeling smothered by management’s pressure to stay in the closet. On a whirlwind tour through Europe, with both an unrelenting schedule and minimal supervision, Ruben and Zach come to rely on each other more and more, and their already close friendship evolves into a romance. But when they decide they’re ready to tell their fans and live freely, Zach and Ruben start to truly realize that they will never have the support of their management. How can they hold tight to each other when the whole world seems to want to come between them?
Initially, I was hesitant about picking up a book about a boy-band romance, with the primary worry that it would be an attempt to capitalize on the fetishization of young men in boy bands and queer Achillean relationships. However, once I read Sophie Gonzales’ other work, and looked more into the actual premise of this book, I felt more comfortable giving it a try. This book is a spotlight shining on forced closeting and the overworking of youth within the music industry. Ruben and Zach aren’t cardboard cutouts of One Direction, no matter how many questions you may find about that on the internet, and the story revolves just as much around their own personal growth as it does their budding relationship. Make no mistake, this book is about being your authentic self and reaching out for help.
The writing was light and fun, and while it isn’t as strong as I’ve seen come out of Wednesday Books’ other recent releases, it still holds its own. Both Zach and Ruben’s narrations are sweet and reflective, though I did get confused a handful of times about whose chapter it was—switching between first-person POVs is hard.
Ruben is Gonzales’ character, self-driven and snarky with a big heart. He struggles with his mother’s high expectations for him and has been gaslit his whole life. His journey of learning to set boundaries and demand respect from those around him is powerful and well-written. Like in Gonzales’ other works, she dives deep into Ruben’s psyche and explores why he acts the way he does. Dietrich’s character is Zach, who struggles with acting to please everyone else. I’ve yet to read some of his other works, but Zach’s story has definitely made me interested. Initially suppressing his queerness, Zach’s development into someone who wants to act for himself resonated strongly with me. Like Ruben, Zach’s personality and background are well defined, and all his actions make perfect sense. The benefits of having an author trained in psychology!
Jon and Angel/Reece are love children of both authors, just as vibrant and well-developed as our MCs. I loved seeing their true personalities unfold as the story went on. Angel’s side plot really captivated me. His entire arc about learning to accept professional help set a perfect tone for the last act of the book. I also think Jon’s position in this, pushing for Angel to get help despite Angel’s initial negative reaction towards, was a wonderful addition.
Things do get a little over dramatic at times, which is to be expected of a YA book about four teenage boys cooped up in Europe. Like Gonzales’ other books, the confrontation scenes between characters are perfectly written. I could feel the tension throughout the entire book, the build-up of it and its final release, and it made the whole story just shine. It is these details that make this book stand out amongst the queer YA crowd.
Sophie Gonzales writes young adult queer contemporary fiction with memorable characters, biting wit, and endless heart. She is the author of The Law of Intertia, Only Mostly Devastated, Perfect on Paper, and If This Gets Out (co-written with Cale Dietrich).
Cale Dietrich is a YA devotee, lifelong gamer, and tragic pop punk enthusiast. He was born in Perth, grew up on the Gold Coast, and now lives in Brisbane, Australia. His debut novel, The Love Interest, was named a 2018 Rainbow List Selection.
You can find more about Gonzales at her website, http://sophiegonzalesbooks.com. Dietrich can be found on Twitter @caledietrich.
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